(I play Ocarina of Time every Sunday and write what happens inaccurately. See previous parts here.)
Last time, we did some timey-wimey and got into the Spirit Temple as a child and now we have to figure out our way through this mess without the capability to shoot a bow and arrow (but somehow with the capability to shoot a boomerang, which I dunno, to me seems harder?)
The first thing I'm greeted by after the initial run-through
and climb up a small duct is this strange looking sun on the floor
And then I'm immediately assaulted by a Lizard-fellow
But after I defeat him I find nothing to use the sun for, but there's this strange crack in the wall:
I spend some lost moments before I find a chest surreptitiously behind me. And in it I find
Soo, this is a bomb... that is also a creature? I mean, look at it! It's very clearly alive. And when you release it, it scurries up the wall like a mouse or some other rodent, and then it just... explodes.
I'm running around with 10 mice in my pocket (next to my chicken), so I can send them out to die for my own purposes. Great.
So I do that to blow open the weird hole in the wall, which let's the sun get in, shining down on the weird sun on the floor... which
Makes it... smile... creepily... at me.
Let's get even closer.
No, no nonono nono no thank you.
The crux of this dungeon is around this sun-shining mechanic and this huge serpent-goddess statue in the middle room:
Which is pretty darn neat, but other than that I gotta say I was flying through this place at a rapid clip.
I made fire to make a chest spawn into thin air at least twice and moved a sun-on-a-block around and opened another door and fought this Dark Souls dude
With one of those discarded Dark Souls names, though. You're an Iron Knuckle. No you're an Iron Knuckle!
My favourite bit about this fight: Look at the health I have when I entered it, then when I was done:
Yep, he literally healed me. You knuckles ain't nothin' to Kid Link. Kid Link's comin' to get ya! Ya'll best be scared, dungeon! Your one security weakness was a Kid and Here He Comes!
By the way, I've changed my mind on the whole security thing: Last episode I mentioned it was clever. Now I'm not so sure: Think about it: All you need is a curious kid and a strong man, and who doesn't have a couple those up their pockets? And you can easily trick them both with candy so really you're just giving it all away.
But don't worry, it'll all make sense soon.
Owl Friend says wassup
And reveals that he is also a time traveler? Because how else could the owl in this time period know that I'll be in the future?
You all got to stop saying that. I literally just threw a rat at a wall.
Also that. You know Zelda's got this, right? All is she can't enter the Temples! But I got her on that, so you'll see, she'll get it done.
Ahah. All right. A little sad the game outright tells me the temple boss this time, but at least we're avoiding another Bongo Moment, so that's good. (Just you wait, those witches will be playing the kazoo.)
Oh look at that. The gauntlets that only a kid could retrieve but never wear.
That's right LINK. You should Keep Your Word and do the Honourable Thing. Because someone like you would never go against what people ask you to. That has NEVER happened before.
So, guess I'll just take those and warp back to the--
What's this now?
Oh you gotta be shitting me
Really game? Really? You couldn't have there be one interesting moment in this game where another female character actually does something? Actually does an action that mildly alters the story? No? You couldn't let the player do the right thing? You had to indulge them? You had to imprison another character, again, for me to rescue. Great. I hate it.
Ok. This is only relevant for one reason: Owl-pal said I was going to use their magic against them. Meaning, Link'll need to use black magic.
So, henceforth it is confirmed that Link is a black mage.
Now you know.
Also I can't get over this expression on Link's child-goof face
So now that we're through with the whole character thing and we got the silver gauntlets, I jingle my way back to the Temple of Time, jingle back to the Desert and PUSH LITTLE CAR--- i mean rock.
And so the mystery deepens, because guess what I find next:
Yes, the Hyrule Crest. The Universal symbol that means you Must Play the Song Zelda Fell Asleep To As a Child. Meaning that the Hyrulians were here. As well. I can already hear the bongo bongo.
But it gets worse
What's that on the serpent statue's hand? Yes. Another.
So maybe they... built this place? But it's all the way out in the desert, where the thieves from Gerudo are from. And they're distinctly not Hyrulian because of the whole female thing (Unless Link is the one-in-hundred male one but then what is Ganondorf). SO, why did they build it? Or at least, help build it? Maybe the Gerudo don't have any builders and they were commisioned?
I like that idea: "Here's us who're going to breed the one guy who's going to be your demise one day, how 'bout you build us a temple, capiche?"
And they were like "Can we play the bongos while we do it?"
Ok, I'll stop.
I play the Jingle That Rules Them All and fight another Iron Knuckle, this time as an adult and he doesn't have any tricks up his sleeve so it was even easier than last time.
And now I'm on the other hand!
No owl, this time. But a chest with a
Oh, ok. Well that's not at all the most obvious item in the world. I'm glad the game is literally just shining it at me as if it was a sun or something
Ooh, look at that I can make a sign on the wall by reflecting light! Oh cool, let's see if I put it up on the su--
AAAHHHHH get it out of here aaaahhh
So Hyrule then also placed these creepy suns? Or maybe the Gerudo had two requirements for this place: "We want Serpent Lady Statues and Suns that Smile Weird."
I mean, otherwise how'd you know it was a temple in the desert? Snakes and suns are the only way to know
And apparently, also...
The Hyrulian builders had some fun here. The panels above slide sideways in opposite directions, and I'm supposed to climb up. So it's literally Frogger. Link, I bet, loves Frogger.
And then I do another light-bounce-around-mirrors-dance until I lower a huge elevator and go back to the main room:
All right, neat. And there's so shining down so I instinctively pull out the shield and bounce it aroudn the place and notice that
The statue's head is corroding.
All right game. All right. Getting some points back. Ok, that's nifty.
And there's the boss room, behind the statue. That's cool. I'll admit that.
Hmm... Nabooru was supposed to be here right?
The Gerudo thieves (in this time) talked about her being here. But not as if she was captured. So maybe Ganon tricked them into thinking he was working with her? Ok.
And damn, I've just been cruising through this temple. All I need now is the key (which I know where is) and to figure out how to... get... to the boss door, but that should be over quickly in the next episode!
I'm a little surprised this temple was so solved but I think they mostly threw old mechanics at me with only one or two new ones that all made fairly decent sense, so so far this temple is getting a one-up from me. Not a bad one! Better than the Water Temple! That's High Praise!
See ya next time!