I am...

Poem. Me.

March 25, 2015

I'm not normal, because no one is.
I'm not queer because I'm too normal.
I'm not a loner because I'm too social.
I'm not social because I'm too introverted.
I'm not asocial because I still try and stick around when friends gather.
I don't stay out forever because I like being home.
I don't have anxiety because I don't get attacks and I don't need medication.
I don't have depression because I'm too positive and eager to work.
I'm not a gamer because I have difficulty associating with that term now.
I'm not straight because I don't like saying I am.
I'm not gay because I'm attracted to women.
I'm not a hippie; I don't drink and I've never been close to drugs.
I'm not a suit because look at my wardrobe.
I'm not creative because I'm too technical.
I'm not technical because I'm too creative.
I'm not myself with others because I'm not open enough.
I'm not anyone else because that doesn't make sense.
I'm not normal, because no one is.

I like writing. I like rain. I like riding trains. I like food. I like gaming. I like following the game industry. I like worlds that aren't my own. I like people who are different. I like technology. I like art. I like cleverness. I like queerness. I like cats. I like tea. I like making games. I like creating. I like design. I like the feel of the keyboard I'm using. I like mythology. I like stories. I like strange letters. I like language. I like Japanese culture. I like minutiae. I like music. I like that moment when I get a new idea. I like discordance, dissonance, conflict. I like when things don't go according to plan. I like my friends. I like the large questions. I like not knowing what will happen tomorrow. I like being alone. I like thinking. I like words. I like magic.


Man, I am super happy with this. It's like so close to home for me it's almost unreal. I guess I did write it, so perhaps that doesn't sound so surprising, but if you can nod along with just some of what is up there you can probably associate with identity difficulties.
It might not seem like a lot to you, but just know that I had real doubts about putting this up here. It feels almost transgressional for me, but that's just because I still feel too closed to share myself like this. But a friend convinced me to do it, and I know that it isn't a big a deal as I pull it up to be. I hope you enjoyed it; it means a lot to me, at least.